ice inside your soul, (trevor)

[GIOVANA ESME HARPER]

'Love' was something Giovana wasn't too familiar with. She sighed as she passed the sign that said 'Welcome to Love Park'. Why was she here? To sketch. She drew random things most of the time, just to get her minds off of the real life situations going on with her. Some of the things in her past, and some of the things in her present. She immediately headed to the big water fountain, taking a seat on one of the benches not to far away from it. She opened up her sketch book and clutched the pencil she had in her hand tightly. Pressing the pencil to the paper, she sighed deeply, closing her eyes lightly. Anyone just walking around would think she was completely out of it, but this was what she did to think of what to draw. She opened her eyes and started to move the pencil on the paper, drawing out the figure of a woman.

She decided she'd just draw something simple. A couple, in love. Though, there was nothing simple about love. She didn't know much about it but she knew it was difficult. If love wasn't hard or complex then there would be no divorces, no break-ups, and no heart breaks. Has Giovana ever had her heart broken? Well, not really. She's dated here and there but she's never convinced herself that it was too serious. Her last boyfriend was Trevor. She dated him a couple months ago, and it wasn't like he was a bad boyfriend, she was just too young for him. She was still in high school and he was doing his own thing in college. They were still good friend though. Well, they were friends one second and not talking the next second. Was that Trevor's fault? No. She just didn't know what to say to him most of the time so she didn't.

Giovana was bad at keeping friends. She didn't like talking on the phone, and she didn't like going out. She wasn't exactly the social butterfly. She was sort of an outcast. One thing that Giovana hated was big crowds. She didn't even know how she managed to get into a relationship with Trevor. It sort of just happened. He was a good guy, but he couldn't be 'hers'. Giovana would be lying if she said she didn't still think about him once in a while. It wasn't often that a guy like him would give a girl like her a chance. She sort of missed the bubbly feeling she got when he'd call. As much as she hated talking on the phone, she couldn't help but smile when she heard his voice. That was long and done with though. Recently, she hadn't been speaking with him much at all. She was on and off like that. She continued sketching around in her notebook and hummed a little to herself. Why did she draw things like this? Did she like depressing herself? She was an oddball.

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[TREVOR RYLAND MATHIS]

Trevor was bored out of his ever loving mind. Wait, what? 'Love' What was that? It was a sign of affection for people he cared deeply about. That much he knew. But, had he ever been 'in love'? Because loving and being in love were two very different things, or so he had been told. Just the pure logic of it had been enough to blow his mind, especially after the time Ben had tried to explain it to him. Talk about mind blowing. He loved Benjamin Marshall to death, in a brotherly sort of way, of course, but dammit, that kid had ideas that Trevor just couldn't wrap his mind around him. Now, don't get him wrong, he had tried quite hard to do so but it was almost impossible. Just about as impossible as Trevor Ryland Mathis trying to understand the logic behind Twilight. Sure, he thought it was a good book. If you were a fourteen year old girl who still had the idea that love like that existed. Something eternal and two-sided, where the man of your dreams would never hurt you nor harm you. Bella, the main character, had been a moron to believe that Edward would never hurt her. If he leaves you once, he will leave you again. Trevor knew that for a fact. And, playing around with Jacob? That certainly wasn't smart. The guy had emotions of his own and, even though males tended not to be the most emotional creatures, with the exception of Ben, they still had feelings that they dealt with on their own. And, being led on by the girl they were in love was pure torture. Trevor had never experienced that himself, thankfully, but he had seen friends go through it and he knew that it was something that he never wanted to experience himself.

With a sigh, he ran a hand over his head and down to the back of his neck, rubbing the nape as he looked around, trying to ease the ache that had formed there. Why all the talk of love? Well, he was currently in Love Park with a camera in hand. Why? Because Trevor was busy snapping photos of random people for his promotions and scenery for future set ideas when he decided on his next film idea. Turning quickly on his heel, he snapped a shot of a couple caught up in intimate laughter, something having been passed between just the two of them, warming both of their hearts. It would definitely be a nice shot for his romantic films that he worked on from time to time. Yes, even though Trevor himself had never truly been in love with someone, he could still create great films that depicted that aspect of life. How? He wasn't quite sure. After a moment, a song filtered into his brain and he softly began to mouth the words as he flitted about, capturing moments that would forever be ingrained on film.

The song was Across the Universe by the Beatles and it was something that he was quite familiar with. One of his favorite songs to be quite honest. Sounds of laughter, shades of life are ringing through my open ears exciting and inviting me Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns, It calls me on and on across the universe. Nothing's gonna change my world. He mumbled out the last piece of the verse and grinned to himself. However, the smile faded from his lips as he caught sight of his ex-girlfriend, Gio. It wasn't that he disliked her or anything...It was just that the two of them weren't speaking right now, per her choosing. Trevor never really had a say when it came to whether or not they were on speaking terms. It was just something that she came up with in her mind and pretty much forbade him from trying to hold a conversation with her until she decided it was okay. Odd, he knew, but she hadn't always been like that. When they had been together as a couple, it had been pretty magical. But then, she had gotten flaky and decided that she couldn't handle a relationship with him. Since then, they had been on and off friends.

With a small sigh, he whipped his camera upwards and snapped a candid shot of her, perfectly perched and entranced in her art. The essence of Giovana Esme Harper, his ex-girlfriend turned friend. Tucking his equipment into the satchel that hung across his shoulders, he headed over towards her and dropped down next to her, never saying a word. Trevor knew it would be her decision whether or not she spoke to him because he was pretty sure that they were still on the whole 'cold shoulder' ordeal. Which was getting old pretty fast, at least for him it was. Nothing a little coitus couldn't fix, he thought with a chuckle inside of his mind. For him or for her, he hadn't yet figured out. It was probable that she needed to be laid but, that wasn't his department anymore, now was it?

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[GIOVANA ESME HARPER]

Giovana tried her hardest not to tear up as she continued to draw. She could already picture the results of her sketch. She had everything figured out in her mind already. As quickly as the tears built up in her eyes, they went away just as quickly. She had to remind herself she was at a public place. She already might have looked odd to the rest of the people around, she didn't want to deepen the bad thought some people may have thought of her by crying. Sometimes Gio wondered how she'd view herself if she was just some one else. How would her life be if she lived in some one elses shoes? What if her parents weren't crazy as hell, and she had everything she ever wanted growing up? Giovana had a lot of talents. Part of that came with the amount of clubs she'd join as a child. She wanted any excuse to get out of the house when she was younger because her birth parents were insane.

Giovana felt like some one was staring at her, but she didn't want to look around and see who it was. She kept her eyes looking strictly as the picture she was drawing. This feeling came back over and over again. Stills he refused to look. It was sort of distracting. You're paranoid, Gio. she told herself. She felt some one else sit down besides her on the bench. She was reluctant to see who it was at first, but she stopped drawing and turned her head to look. Of course, Trevor. If she could she would rewind time so that she would have never showed up. It's not like she disliked Trevor because that was not the case. The only thing was that he was a reminder of how much things one person could lose in one lifetime. Weird? No, not really. Gio has lost a lot of friends in her life, and Trevor did make a really good boyfriend. So why did she let him go? One, the age difference, it was sort of hard introducing him to everyone when he was so much older. Two, her feelings for him grew very deeply.

Gio did not understand love too much, but she had to of had a good clue about it with Trevor. He knew how to get her out of her shell. She was so closed off to the world but so opened ip to him. She loved that feeling. It was awkward. He wasn't saying anything. Well I'm not going to say anything either, she lied to herself. Why isn't he saying anything? she asked herself in thought. It had been awhile since she's actually seen Trevor in person. She hated this because there was no escape. One could always ignore a phone call or not write back to a text message. "Hey Trevor." she said, deciding to break the awkward silence. "How have you been?" she asked him. It was always the same things: How have you been? How are you? Why are you here? Whats going on? How's school?. Giovana didn't like talking about their past relationship together. She felt guilty though, she owed him an apology for being so flaky. She just wasn't good at this. " I'm sorry for being so distant, Trev. I've been sort of distracted." she said. Oh yes! That was better, telling the truth with a lie.

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[TREVOR RYLAND MATHIS]

Trevor had been oh so close to losing his heart with this girl but it hadn't happened. Trevor was kind of glad that it hadn't because he knew he would be in a lot more pain than he had been when the two of them had split up. Gio had decided that he was too old for her and that it was awkward to introduce him to her friends because she was in high school and him in college. She'd thought that they had existed in two separate worlds when they weren't together and it had...intimidated her or something, as if he was going to grow a whole new personality with his college friends. Maybe that could have been the case with anyone else but Trevor. He was the same guy he had always been. Ugh. It was just so frustrating sometimes to think that they had broken up over his age. Normally girls loved it when the guy was older, especially if they were high school aged and their boyfriend was in college. Dammit, why was he chewing over this again? It didn't matter anymore. They were broken up and there was no going back. He knew that...But he just couldn't make himself believe it. He sighed before he raised his camera and snapped the candid shot of her as she worked on her drawing. He could see her shoulder tense up slightly as she became aware of another's presence. But, he had to give it to her, she didn't once look up to see who it was or if her instincts were even correct. It was both envy-worthy and stupid. But, enough about that too. He sighed once more and tucked his equipment into his bag before heading over to where she sat.

He took a seat next to her and rested his arms on his thighs, not saying anything to her or looking at her other than the first glance as he had taken his seat next to her. He wasn't supposed to speak, he knew, and he respected that. Silence drifted around them for a few moments before he heard her speak up. Trevor didn't look in her direction as she said his name and asked how he had been. He still didn't respond as she apologized for being so distant, calling him Trev. She explained that her being distant had been caused because she had been distracted recently. Yeah, with what? He wondered to himself. When she quieted again, Trevor turned his attention to her face. "I've been doing well." he told her with a small, nonchalant shrug of his big shoulders. "I can understand that." he muttered in response to her apology about being sort of distracted. "How about yourself?" he asked politely, glad that he was able to speak and not just sit there like a dunce as he had felt like moments before. Trevor almost always felt uncomfortable when he was around someone and no one was speaking. Except, however, when he was around a certain list of people. A few of them being Benjamin, Carina, Oliver, etc. Those people were his best friends and sometimes quiet as a God send. Inside his head, Trevor allowed himself a small chuckle as his friends' expense. Them quiet? Yeah, right.

ooc; sorry...this is kind of crappy.

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[GIOVANA ESME HARPER]

It took Trevor a while to respond. Okay, can this get any awkward? she asked herself in thought. She looked at him a few times, So is he just like...not going to say anything? she asked herself. She frowned, picking up her pencil and acting as if she was distracted by the drawing. She pressed the tip of the pencil to the paper and at last, he spoke. She stopped immediately and turned to look at him.Gio sometimes questioned how the two of them had pulled it off so long in a relationship. Trevor had his group of friends, and she had her best friend. He had his social life, and she had her journal. He had girls throwing themselves at him, and she had, well, just him. Giovana was probably really boring compared to his other friends. She already knew that. However, deep down there was a fun side to her. Not too many people got to see that side to her, only Delilah of course.

He's been doing well, that's all he'd tell her? Hows school? Meet any new girls lately? How was the latest party? Been caught up in any trouble? Those were the questions Gio really wanted to ask. Of course, Gio was always one to think about things before she spoke. If anyone 'played it safe' it was Giovana Harper. "Good, good." she said nodding along with him. She smiled at him when he said 'he could understand that'. However, Gio was a actress. She knew when some one was putting up an act, especially if that wasn't their area of expertise. She had a good idea that Trevor knew how much lying Gio was doing right about now. Gio didn't have a social life, therefore, she wouldn't be distracted unless she had a lot of homework. "Mhm." she added on. "I mean, it's just that, I have a lot of classwork, homework, projects, and all hat stupid stuff. I swear, sometimes the teachers act as if they don't know I have five other classes. It's horrible." she said, adding on to her lie. Just trying to make it more believable.

"I'm okay," she replied. She wasn't going to lie and say she was happy because she wasn't Gio woke up every morning thinking she was missing something out of life. She went to sleep feeling incomplete. "I don't know." she sighed, Gio, of course being her awkward self. She didn't know how else to act. "Have you ever felt like something was missing? But you didn't know what that something was?" she asked him, looking at him for a second before she glanced back down at the picture she had been working on previously. "I just feel incomplete." she said, being honest with him. Gio wasn't a complete liar. Trevor wasn't a stranger, she could spill out her feelings to him sometimes. "Sometimes I just wish I was more happy." she said, glancing at a couple walking in front of hem to get to the fountain. They both had skateboards in one hand, and their other hands were holding each-others. They had looked so happy. She shook her head, glancing at her shoes. "I hate this weather." she said. She was never a fan of the sun.

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[TREVOR RYLAND MATHIS]

Awkward. That was how anyone, including Trevor, could describe the moments that passed as he continued to sit next to Giovana. It wouldn't be so bad if the silence wasn't as suffocating as it was. He rested his arms on his thighs and just sat there, waiting for his ex to acknowledge him, allowing him to speak up. When she finally did notice his presence, she greeted him with his nickname and asked him how he had been. He replied by saying that he had been and asking about herself, all in a polite manner. She replied, good to his response and then continued to apologize for being so distant, saying that she had been distracted. Trevor said he could understand it but underneath all of that, he knew that she was lying through her teeth. She elaborated, telling him that it had been classwork and homework and projects. Commenting that teachers acted like that they didn't know there were five other classes that passed out work. She then addressed his question about how she was, answering that she was okay. Now, that seemed more like the truth.

After a moment, though, she spoke up again and said that she didn't know. She asked if he had ever felt like he was missing something but didn't know what it was. She sighed and commented that she felt incomplete. Trevor looked at her with a curious crinkle in his brow as a small frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. She said that sometimes she wished she was more happy and he followed her gaze to a couple that was walking hand in hand in front of them. Trevor missed the whole couple thing. Not with Gio, per se, but with any girl. Trevor, much to contrary belief, loved being in a relationship. Sure, he played the field while he was single. But, once he had a girl by his side, he was loyal until the day they broke up. He loved doting over his woman, whoever she was at the time, and always looked for an opportunity to spoil them. He had been the exact same way with Giovana and every girl before her. The same would be said for every woman that came after her too. She moved her gaze away from the couple after a moment as he shook her head, as if trying to make the image of the happy couple disappear. Trevor watched her with interest and heard her comment that she hated the weather. Trevor didn't detect anything too wrong with it as of late. The sun was shining and the climate was almost perfect. At least to him. Not too hot, not too cold either. Trevor lived for days like this.

"What do you think is missing?" Trevor asked curiously, rubbing the back of his neck for a brief second. "I know you said that you didn't know but I'm sure you have a guess at least." Trevor knew exactly what was missing in his life. Money. And a woman. He had everything else but those two things. He needed more funds to continue his lifestyle and he needed a woman to go along with it. Trevor wanted to find love sometime. Yeah, guys usually didn't care but deep down, Trevor wasn't just a normal guy. He guessed that Ben had rubbed off on him over the years when it came to the mushy stuff, but hell, he didn't mind. He rather enjoyed his romantic nature because it always won brownie points with the ladies. With a sigh, he pulled his gaze away from Gio, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable with his gaze hovering over her face as he awaited her response.

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[GIOVANA ESME HARPER]

When Trevor asked what she thought was missing she sighed. She didn't really know. Was it the 'special guy'? It couldn't have been, because even when she was in a relationship, she felt incomplete. However, going to Emerson Academy was like single awareness for her. Seeing the people hold hands, seeing the couples and their disgusting PDA moments. She shrugged, "I don't know, that's the hardest part." she told him. It wasn't hard to talk to Trevor. He was pretty observant. So it just gave Gio a good idea that he was listening. She admired that about him. If Gio said part of her didn't miss being with Trevor, she'd be lying. She liked the way he listened to her, and how she could talk on the phone with him for hours, even though the conversation most of the time was about absolutely nothing. She liked how he but upp with her oddness. Not everyone could do that. But, they just weren't meant to be.

Then he added on that she should of at least had a guess. She laughed a little bit, shrugging and shaking her head a little. "I just feel like my life's boring. Everyone has plans on a Friday night, and I stay inside listening to Florence and the Machine staring at my ceiling all day. Just thinking about how things would be different if I was different. I don't know." she said. Oh yes, the joys of being affiliated with a teenage girl. They ranted. They vented. They went on about the smallest things. Giovana wasn't insecure about her looks. She just wanted more of a social life but didn't know how to go on about it. So she never usually did. She didn't ave the personality for it. She didn't like eye contact for a long time, she didn't know how to flirt, she didn't know how to hold a good conversation, and she didn't know how to hold on to good relationships. She noticed the lack of contact Trevor was giving her, but she didn't say anything. It probably would have been weird for the both of them if they were just staring at each other the whole entire time.

Still, his eyes were amazing to look into."Ugh, sorry." she laughed a little. "I keep venting about myself. I always do that when I'm around you. I just talk about my problems. But, I guess that just goes to show how comfortable I feel around you?" she said, nudging Trevor on the side of his arm with her shoulder playfully as she laughed a little. Glancing away from him. "So I want to know more Trev. What's going on with you? How's life? What am I missing out on? How's school? Your classes? Tell me." she said, loosening up a little, which was bound to happen. Trevor wasn't some stranger, she could talk to him. Ifs he didn't feel comfortable with Trevor she never would have dated him anyways.

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