|
|
Post by ELLA MARIE TORRES on Nov 16, 2010 9:23:09 GMT -5
Christmas, 2008. Brooklyn
--------------------------- She was supposed to feel different. That was how these things worked. Everything she knew about these things told her that she was supposed to feel different afterwards. All her friends (and younger sister) who had already done it had told her she’d feel different. The trouble was, that’s all they said. That she’d feel different after. No one had told her though what that would mean. They’d neglected to let Ella know if it was a good different or a bad different. If it was normal to lay on your back, watching the morning lights make shapes on the ceiling, feeling a little sick inside. The youth bit her lip. Struggling to keep her tears inside. It had been hard right after, and it seemed like it was going to be hard now, too. Generally Ella was good with emotions. She could decode the emotions of those around her (and herself) with ease. Today, however, she was having real trouble deciding if her tears were good or bad. She supposed it bittersweet. The whole situation was. She’d just given herself to her boyfriend whom she loved very much. He’d been gentle and respectful and didn’t even mind when she felt awkward laying naked with him and sat up with her back to him to put her underwear and a singlet back in before getting back into bed. He’d lit candles, done everything he could to make it special and Ella was thankful that he understood what a big deal it was, and was prepared to treat it so. The situation was tainted though. It was a few days ‘till Christmas of her senior year of highschool, but Bobby had already graduated last year and had spent the last six months in basic training as part of the army. When he’d told her of his plan, Ella hadn’t exactly been thrilled, but she supported him. It’s what you did for the person you love. And she did love Bobby, more then she could even voice. Three days ‘till Christmas, and on December the twenty-eight, he was leaving. Shipped off to ‘keep the piece’ in some country Ella wasn’t even convinced needed American troupes. It wasn’t her decision to make though, and as much as it killed her, she’d let him go. She supposed that was why she had told him now was the right time to do what they had done. It was their last few days together before Christmas and family demanded their attention. She wanted him to know that she was his; every part of her. That she’d be here waiting for him to come home. Missing him as though someone had taken apart of her with them. Of course, she expected the feelings would dull over time, that she’d get used to them. But right then, faced with the eminent and daunting idea of saying goodbye, she wasn’t sure how she was going to make it without him. Rolling over, away from Bobby, she pulled the blankets higher around her. Curling into the comfort and warmth. A large part of her wanted to nuzzle her way into her sleeping lover’s arms, but she just couldn’t bring herself to wake him because she was being a silly emotional girl. Instead, she curled into herself and gave in to the tears. Letting the salty drops fall silently from her eyes. The only proof of her crying was the small quack from her shoulders every so often. Something inside her compelled her not to let Bobby see her upset. That she had to make these next few days as happy as possible. She’d promised herself she wasn’t even going to cry when they said goodbye. A promise she wasn’t even sure she could keep- but one she had made all the same.
[/size] |
|
